Monday, April 11, 2011

Ninja Assassin (2009)

Unseen
Unseen
Gore-riffic
Banal

2 comments:

  1. Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky is one of my favorite movies of all time. It's not an upper echelon film. Rather, it's a poorly dubbed Hong Kong martial arts prison drama in which people are disemboweled, dismembered, and even disenfranchised...with the system!

    Ninja Assassin isn't as inventive as Riki (no one popping out eye balls for crows to eat in this flick), but there gore is certainly there. The characters literally swim in blood (well, by literally I mean also literally) throughout this picture. Like Riki, the script is sort of just an excuse for violence, but unlike Riki, the plot is just sort of there without being unintentionally hilarious.

    The acting..eh, you know, whatever. If you're like me and you get giddy watching someone's head sliced in two, then you don't really care what they were saying five seconds prior. However, it's not so terrible that you can't sit through the talkin' to get to the killin' and the slayin'.

    This is the kind of movie I would have watched in high school at 1 a.m. with a few friends. It's good, clean fun, but nothing deep, nothing smart, and nothing memorable.

    Oh, and here's a tip to the lead actor, "Rain" - your body is great, you have the movement of a young Jet Li. Your name is terrible. It's douchetastically bad. You need to go by your real name, Jung Jihoon.

    Haha, Jihoon! You gots da funny foreign name!

    ReplyDelete
  2. The characters literally swim in blood (well, by literally I mean also literally) throughout this picture.

    I have no idea what I meant when I wrote this.

    ReplyDelete

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