Friday, November 25, 2011

Splice (2009)



  1. Take the film Jurassic Park and strip it of all suspense, dumb down the science, and mix in elements of the movie Nell. Now, let's mix Velociraptor, human, frog, and chicken DNA together, then have the creature fuck everyone, male or female.

    Well, I've basically described the movie Splice for you, only I shielded you from most of the terrible elements contained in the project. Actually, though, the primary emotion I felt after watching this movie was not dislike but confusion. There were so many allegories to play with, so many creepy and scary components to play with. Splice could have been a post-modern Prometheus, raising legitimate questions of science and ethics while also scaring the pants off its viewers. There were a thousand roads it could have traveled, but ultimately it took the dumbest path.

    What little logic the film does have manages to be inconsistent and spotty, with motivations of the characters haphazardly explained. I would not even be so generous as to say there were good ideas that were not fully formed. No, Splice completely ignored any good ideas and proceeded to make a mish mash of mush.

    I was genuinely interested in seeing this film, which looked to be a thriller on a scale of Alien but balanced with legitimate and relevant scientific dilemmas. Instead, it's a silly mess of hokey sci fi and flat melodrama. Pass on this one.

  2. My deepest and sincerest love to Jai, who already did a review of this -

    The search function on this site stinks. Also, he put the wrong year!

    We at Byting Reviews try not to duplicate, partly to respect each others' work but mostly because we barely update to begin with.


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